3 rough months

22 09 2022

For 3 months now, I’ve been working through the pain, weakness, and exhaustion that covid left me with. I stopped counting the number of things I wanted to do but cannot. I have stopped counting the number of days I desperately wanted to stay in bed. Certainly, many people have experienced worse.

Every day I look to God, follow Dr’s info, and pursue natural remedies as well. My healing will come, by a miracle or other means. So far God has chosen to not heal me, and yet I believe that He may do so at any time. This ailment will leave my body one way or another, eventually. The steps I’m taking will be beneficial regardless. I’ve lost 10 pounds over the past 3 weeks by changing my diet to eliminate possible contributors to inflammation. My insurance does not cover the effective treatment available at Baltimore’s covid long haul clinic, to reset my immune system. I will pursue a request for coverage to go there.

Our family, friends, and spiritual family, City Harbor, have been wonderful despite several people facing more significant health challenges than I am.

This has been a challenge to every aspect of my health, including my mental health.

Today, I wanted to share a few lessons I’ve learned….some tools that have helped me experience peace.

Take a Breath
Today, I still cannot do the breathing exercise provided by my Dr. As a recovering workaholic, I have learned that powering through my physical limitations to work harder is not always a good idea. There’s a distinction between good pain and bad pain. Ignoring symptoms won’t help. I can be more effective if I will stop, take a breath, and after a moment of silence consider my current reality. What is my body saying? What can I do? What can I not do?

Relationship Time
As humans, we are wired for relationships. Over the past three months, I have received amazing benefits from the long-term relationships that have been built. My most important relationship is with God. Now I spend time breathing and thinking about WHO God is and WHAT God has done. I focus on God’s faithful love, provision, protection, and the miraculous gifts of forgiveness and new life given to me through Jesus my Savior. I focus on the positives. Then, as I continue my breathing, I say “Thank You God” over and over.

Processing Power
After the breathing time, including an awareness of my very real challenges and a focus on God…I remember that God’s love will outlast my problems and my pain. Healing will come. Now it’s time for me to use the full Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr to process. It becomes a practice of drawing spiritual strength from my relationship with God and discerning what can be done about my present reality.

Listen and Write
These practices allow me to hear from God and recognize truth. As a spiritual person, I must listen to find powerful peace. Profound truth rises from these times. I write down the truth. Then I reflect on these truths, at least once daily. This includes Scriptures I believe about God’s healing power. I have seen God provide medically documented miracles to people I’ve prayed for. These memories are an encouragement, within these practices.

Avoiding Poison
What won’t help? My past tendencies to obsess about a problem, focus on the negatives, and allow for selfishness. My past tendencies toward discouragement, depression, anxiety, or anger.

My hope is that this post is a helpful encouragement to you.

Here’s the full Serenity Prayer:

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is; not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.”



7 responses

23 09 2022
Glenda Malmin

Thank you for this very well-written, vulnerable, wise, & insightful writing. Selah…..

24 09 2022
Ben Malmin

Thank you so much

24 09 2022

Hi Ben I will be praying for you . I have had covid 3 times now .It is taxing praise God I’ve been okay . But I will be praying for God’s healing on your body .

24 09 2022
Ben Malmin

Thank you Todd. Good to hear from you. Wow, 3 times.

25 09 2022
Todd barron

Wow so good to here from you to . Praying for your family to . LOVE YA BROTHER .

27 09 2022
Carolyn L. Wade

Dear Ben, Thank you for your honesty and transparency in this post. I’m grateful that through the ongoing difficulties you can see some positive benefits! We continue to pray for you daily–and this helps us zero in on ways to pray.

28 09 2022
Ben Malmin

Thank you so much

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